Moon Swings

stupid boys ? ? ?Smart Dique 

I was walking at my job with a male coworker recently. He was bragging on how many women he used to get and still can at the age of (inserts drum roll and twerk)57! He often says that men today are “gay” because if he were a young man walking around in a place full of half naked women with thick thighs, all these girls would be getting “hit”. I laughed as I always do with male friends who can be themselves. It’s hilarious to hear their truth. We looped around and I saw another male friend of mine. He’s so fine. Brown skin, beautiful smile, muscles that never left college football. Just right. He was chatting it up with a new girl in our area. She’s pretty, brown, average height for a woman and heavy in the butt. Nice looking. He flagged me down as I waved. We talked for a split second, and I went on with my business realizing that every pretty woman that comes through has become his friend. Realizing that, he recently had a baby with a pretty woman, who also is his girlfriend of some years. Realizing that, before the baby was born, he did freaky things with a close friend of mine in a Walmart parking lot, who is also a pretty woman. I mean, are options even a word? The “Worm” guy I mentioned in another passage, also seems to have a line up, and I’m in the starting 5. He has been into me for some time and now can act on it because of recent divorce decisions. Walmart guy and Worm are friends. I told Walmart guy about my interest in Worm, he says, “Well, sleep with me first, you barely even know him.” What? Men speak to women, plant smiles and a sense of friendship into our minds and make us feel like we can almost trust them again until boom, they remind us why we told our homegirl to “leave that man alone”. I laughed at him, of course, because what can I expect? I mean we are close, but apparently not close enough for him, and he refuses to let another man hold me that tight and he must hear about it. But I really am starting to think that maybe, men are smarter at dating? Most of my exes were control freaks. I couldn’t even look another man’s way without them getting upset or accusing me of cheating. I’m realizing that men cheat all day, every day? So, they were inflicting their guilt. When you think they’re having normal convos with you over the phone with a male friend, in their mind, you’re having a sensual phone call and building a connection? When he sits with you at lunch, he thinks it’s almost a date? When a guy says, “let’s be friends” he really means “I find you amazing and I want to talk to you often without confusion, plus maybe one day I can have you bent over in my one-bedroom apartment.” Women get with men and expect loyalty because we give it. Right? We tie ourselves to a man mentally, emotionally, and spiritually, unless we’re smart. You don’t think your man is cheating emotionally because he waves at the mail lady every afternoon or because he has a lady friend he mentions from time to time. He’ll never show you his true interest, but in his mind, there seems to always be that possibility. Or maybe he just enjoys her company. But her company, like others, is based on attraction and desire from what I’m seeing. I think he’ll be with her after a breakup. Are men smarter at dating? It takes women so long to move on. Men leave and already are dating the woman they told us not to worry about, or women we didn’t even know about. My ex dumped me and took another woman to Mardi Gras. They would often talk, and he told me they were “friends”. Wow. Women get romanticized on a daily without knowing. Men look into our eyes and long to make us laugh. They hold open doors and offer us snacks just to bond. We confuse this with genuine human connection; they confuse it with “oh my God a woman is talking to me.” We like each other the same, but in different ways. men admire women, we just want to laugh and get married. They want to conquer and figure us out, we just want bills paid and 3 kids. I’ve been rather mean to guys lately. All of them aren’t worth pleasing in that light to me. Rather it’s because of their ego or they’re not cute enough, every guy doesn’t get that special friendship they crave with a pretty woman. Men can barely understand much, but they sure can handle love strategically and walk away less bruised in my opinion. I think I’m going try dating like a guy. Maybe.